Gender Psychology And Hooking Up With Women

Do you know enough about gender psychology and how it affects you? What exactly is sexual impulse and why does it create desire? What two phases of these impulses exists in gender psychology and how to use this information? And the psychological affects of the sexual impulse on the woman? These are the questions that are about to be answered in the following article.

Sexual impulse is really a combination of physiological and psychological triggers working in complete harmony with the person experiencing it, and indirectly by sending signals to the nervous system. Such factors of influence include, but are not limited to the five senses. However gender psychology plays a large role as well.

For example, like a moth, scent is used in the form of pheromones that connect the scent to sexual excitation. This sexual excitation, turned into a sexual impulse, is what leads the male to seek the female with the chemical releasing of these pheromones. That is why the scent of a woman can drive a man crazy, overriding logical reaction to sexual impulse.

Regardless of being male or female, you have made a neurological association of pleasure attached directly to physical touch, and ultimately sex. This is what turns the physiological reaction of sexual excitation into the sexual impulse, influenced by the gender psychology.

Sexual impulse leading into desire really is nothing more than an extension of the childhood neurological association of pleasure, even the emotional connection of a loving feeling, to the physical touch. This started from the warmth and protection of your mother’s womb, to the loving arms of parental hugs, holding hands with your first loving attraction, and so forth. Due to gender psychology, men bond physically to this, women bond emotions to the physical action.

There are two phases in a sexual impulse; but, instead of being unrelated, or only distantly related, we see that they are really so intimately connected as to form two distinct stages in or of the same process.

The first stage is usually under the parallel influence of internal and external stimuli such as images, desires, and ideals formulated within the mind. These can be conscious or unconscious. Then the person generally is charged with energy and the person’s sexual organ congests with blood, a normal physiological reaction.

The second stage involves the sexual organ then discharging amid profound sexual excitement, complimented by intense physical stimuli, then followed by deep organic relief. Otherwise known as an orgasm.

It is of course by the first process that produces the tension in which the second process relieves. The first, taking on usually a more active form in the male, has the double affect of bringing the male himself into the condition in which discharge becomes imperative.

At the same time arousing in the female a similar ardent state of emotional excitement and sexual stimuli by the engorging of the her sexual organ. The second process has the task, directly, of discharging the tension thus produced and, indirectly, of effecting the act by which the race is propagated. In other word, that means that the orgasm is physiologically meant to release that sexual tension, while the process also has the side effect of creating life.

Mother nature is kind of tricky, huh! Knowing that the need to release sexual tension by performing the act of sex will also ensure the propagation of the human race, unless manually prohibited, by pill, condom, etc.

What does it all mean? How does it help you hook up with women?

My attempt, although perhaps too clinical, is to have you understand the underlying states that produce the sexual impulse for the purpose of you understanding that it is not just a physical draw, but a psychological connection made from a neurological connection, as well as emotional association.

For men, it simply implies that the reason for The Hunt is not only to gain pleasurable experience through sex, but it is the means necessary to relieve the physiological desire to release the pent up tension that is an automatic response created automatically by the object of his desire. You can’t help yourselves for wanting sex, more so the release of that created tension.

But for women, The Hunt is no only for the above experience as for men, but also an emotional need due to gender psychology. The issue here then becomes, that in order to be successful, you have to get through the woman’s gate keeper. Get through her emotional guard.

Knowing that women are emotionally blocking your efforts, you only need to find the keys to unlock that gate to get to the physiological animal she hides inside! Catching on?

This is the hardest part for you men. No doubt about it. Because here is the final secret to your success: you have to present yourself as the strong and virile man that will fulfill her first emotional blockage of finding a protector and provider (whether that is your intention or not) and then break her other emotional gates down by loving physical contact and connecting conversation.

Contact such as touching her shoulder, touching the back of her hand or better yet holding her hand, and the ultimate, if you can get away with it, to fit some hugs in there too. This enforces the protector, but more than that, re-constitutes her neurological association of love through physical contact.

Get past her emotional gate guardians, and it is all too easy to produce the sexual impulse within her. And this is just the physical side of the communication! Further, it has only scratched the surface!

In order to really get this to work, you need to utilize almost hypnotic verbal communication. Which means you really need to understand gender psychology.

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Forget about all that gender psychology. But, things dealing with psychology usually include a couch…just saying…

Maybe you should learn more about gender psychology and how to use it to hook up with women.

As a man, you are constantly looking at a woman’s body, right? So make it work for you by reading her body language to find out if she is interested to you. Observation is how to hook up with women by reading signs.

Want to know what to look for? Of course you do or you wouldn’t be here…

A woman tends to speak with her body more quickly and usually more often before she actually speaks her mind. To figure out if she is interested in you, there are few almost sure signs that she is feeling you.

The first thing to try and notice is eye contact. When you speak or she speaks (most likely if she is into you, she is just going to let you speak) she will look you directly in the eyes. In fact, she can’t seem to take her eyes off of your eyes. This is one of the biggest signs.

Another sign is her constantly fidgiting with her hair. She is twirlling in around her fingers, or she is constantly flipping it back as she talks with you. The bonus sign, she does all this while never breaking eye contact with you.

Non communication is not a bad sign. In fact, it probably is a good sign. If you find that she is not really saying much, but she is constantly smiling and laughing while looking you in the eyes, then that is the sign. A lot of times we will not speak, because we can not think of anything witty to say and we do not want to come across as a dork to you.

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Not always accurate as a sign, but if you find you keep crossing paths in a public place, this could be a sign that she is purposely putting herself in your path.

Also not always a good indicator, is touching you while she speaks. Others claim that this is a classic sign that a woman wants you, but in reality, some women have done that so much during learning their communication skills as a young girl that now it is nothing more than just a habit. Not anymore a sign than your local waitress asking you, “what’ll you have darling?”.

So, observation is the key. I will admit that us women have a tendency to speak with the body before our verbal skills. A keen man can pick up on these subtile messages and be a step ahead on how to hook up with women by reading signs.

Every woman is different. I say this because in the past when I give a list of things like this, there is always somebody that wants to argue it. I am speaking in general terms here, guys. Of course there are always going to be exceptions here and there. But what women want a man to be can be common.

I know even stating that above, someone is going to email me saying that his top 5 things is better than my top 5 and I am not correct. Okay, but here is my question to you honey, ready? How’s that list of 5 working out for you? You getting all the play you want with that top 5 list are you? Girls beating down your door and you have so many you have to turn them away?

My point is that you may have found a list that works for a certain woman. That is great if you are looking for a long lasting, marriage potential relationship. For the rest of us, let us talk about the top 5 things that generally makes a man sexy to women (notice the plural, more than one reference here?).

The subject is hard enough as it is. Sexy is subjective, period. What may turn me on might not do anything for one of my girlfriends. However, there are some commonalities that most women would agree with. The following below are as agreeable as a collective set of women can get.

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1. The fine art of being manly.

No, not being a hairy macho caveman. I equate this more as a presence than a physical attribute. Of course eye candy will catch any eye, but for women, that is not the thing that keeps her attention. It really is about the masculinity that you seem to exude. It is instinctual. The female lions do not need a male lion if you think about it. She hunts, fights, and does everything else on her own. But the lion who exudes the most natural masculinity is the lion who has a pride of females following him.

It is the way he carries himself. It is the mannerism of his body during movement. There is a certain confidence about him that no woman can ignore. There is a confidence in his speech and what he says. There is a way about his eyes when he talks that dares you to look away while he is talking, but he somehow knows that you can not. This is the effect of the masculine natural instinct that women can not help but be attracted to regardless of outside appearance. That leads into our next spot…

2. Confidence

There is no other way around it, confidence makes a man, period. You can have a room of 10 guys, 9 of them models, and 1 ordinary Joe. If the 9 models are all wimpy and are too concerned about how they look or if they can go talk to a girl, but Joe has the attitude he is not in competition and walks up and starts taking the initiative on the woman, I can guarantee you 9 guys will have dates with a mirror while Joe is walking out with the woman. Confidence is definitely what women want a man to be.

It seems to come natural by men who have wealth and power. However, you can be a broke guy with a car wash job, if you can pull off that confidence, you are going to get phone numbers. It is as simple as that. Even if you only emulate the confidence convincingly, even if you really are not, you are still going to be that much further ahead than most men. Believe me when I tell you this. Pretend you are James Bond if you have to.

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3. Flash that smile

It sort of goes with the confidence, but a man who is confident enough to smile a lot can really get attention. In fact, a boyish smile can be a great weapon against women. It says to us that you are confident, friendly, and genuine. It does all of this without you even saying a word. Find a way to be happy and smile a lot and you will notice more and more women wanting to hang out around you. It is like you are the life of the party while the other men are just looking with blank stares and drinking.

4. The eyes have it

Your eyes and what you do with them can be the ultimate secret weapon in your arsenal. Here is why, we are attention whores. Any woman that tells you different is lying. We absolutely seek attention. And lucky for you, it takes something as simple as eye contact. Do this especially if we are speaking to you.

Keeping eye contact with us while we speak makes us feel that you are actually listening and want to hear what we have to say. It may be complete bullshit, but we do not know the difference. The eye contact makes us believe you are and that feeds our attention seeking needs. In fact, if you can keep from bouncing your eyes from our breasts to our eyes, you can use eye contact to make us feel so special that we will pretty much let you take what you want.

5. Aromatherapy

A little bit of man smell can be masculine and attractive. But if you are smelling like you have been on the couch for days playing video games, in other words, like Fritos and sweaty butt crack, you could be a greek god and you are not getting anywhere.

We associate in our minds the smells of tobacco, woods, spices, and moss to masculinity. We can not help it, it turns you into a strong lumberjack in our minds regardless of body type. Stay away from the scents that are made to be worn by both men and women. These are considered androgynous, not manly.

There you have it. Pretend if you have to. But exude confidence and carry yourself as masculine, smiling at your target and look into her eyes like they are the only thing in the universe. Dab a little bit of cologne (dot on the neck behind and below ears and dot on wrists, do not bathe in it). Do these 5 things and you are going to be the guy women are gathering around, what women want a man to be.

Okay, so I was out at this club down river last weekend, when this guy mustered his nerve and walked up to talk to me. He seemed genuine, kind, and pretty well clean. When I closed my eyes his voice was nice, and his eyes were deep crystal blue. He would have definitely at least got a dance out of me, maybe even more conversation then who know where from there.

But, he got. . . nothing! Well, I was kind in my denial, I know how fragile you guys can be.

I just could not get past his eighties influenced, “flock of seagulls” styled, weird side length emo type hair cut he had!

And you can argue all day that I am flawed, that I can’t judge a book by its cover, and I did not take the time to learn about the real man beneath. But you know what? You are right! I am not Avril Lavigne, and we are not living in the world of the “Sk8ter Boi” (skater boy).

Want to know something else? About 90% of the women out there will absolutely agree with me! Skater boy is correct, because unfortunately, we as women only see two types of guys out there in the world, little un-confident boys and confident grown men.

That particular style screamed out to me, “I am a little un-confident boy who doesn’t think much of himself so I am trying to hide behind the persona of what I thought was a cool hair cut”. And thus, I had to let the little boy go ahead on his search for a little girl, because I am all woman, and a little boy can not handle me properly.

You are probably thinking two things right about now. You are probably thinking, “what a selfish chick with an attitude”. And you are probably thinking, “is a certain hair style really a deal breaker?”. To which I answer, no I am not, I just know what I want, and a little boy is not one of them. And absolutely, a hair style can make or break you.

His particular cut would have worked, if he was in a punk rock bar or perhaps a Goth bar or even an EMO bar. The problem is he wasn’t. And the girls (no miss-spelling there) in those three styles of bars are probably not what you are looking for, unless you want an anarchist, a dark girl more into a fictional character that drinks blood than she is you, or a way-too-emotional girl who is going to talk to you all night long about how she in not understood by anybody.

Of course, I am assuming here that as men, you want women, not little girls, too. I mean, don’t get me wrong, little girls and boys have their times (by the way, by little I mean personality, not age!).

Back to the issue at hand, hair. Let’s talk about some pet peaves women, in general, have with hair.

Maybe it is stress, maybe the times we live in, or maybe it is in the water. Whatever it is, there seems to be a lot of guys in their twenties and older losing their hair. It appears men are losing it much earlier in ages now. If not balding, definitely in thinning.

The worst possible thing you could do about it is try to grow some long hair to “comb over” to hide it. Really, I mean that with all the sincerity I can muster in text! Stop it! You remind us of some older creepy uncle when you do that!

Much better to just cut it short and act like you don’t care, showing confidence about it then the comb over. In fact, if it is that much of an issue to you, maybe you should even try the other extreme and shave it bald completely.

Here is a secret, shhhh, don’t tell everybody! We find men who shave their heads clean when they don’t seem the age to have to s-e-x-y! Why? Because it states to us that you are completely comfortable and confident with yourself and you don’t care what others think!

That makes you sexy! MMMmmmm. Of course you can blow it if you shave everything off and then still come across as self conscious about it, that is so NOT sexy!

Watch the boys of summer. Or even the actors of Hollywood. They are always on the cutting edge of hair styles. Most of the time, though, a clean cut boy projects an aire of confidence and suave sophistication.

Speaking of clean cut, what is up with all the goatees? Is there a bunch of sports figures out there that you guys are following or what? The goatees, along with the mullets, have to go! Maybe if you knew how to use a soul patch, great, but most of you don’t! So shave the stuff off, please!

Okay, there you go. The truth about how most of us women feel about your hair. Unless you are trying to show how you are so unique as a tortured artist or musician (and most of you who read me know my puzzlement to the “the band” attraction), you need to be clean cut, shaved, and have the “James Bond” confidence about you.

What about moustaches? You are not going to believe what we think about them! Check out http://gotvenus.com, and you will eventually read what both myself and Tiffany thinks (as well as most other women) about moustaches.

First of all, let me say that I am in no way trying to embarrass anyone here. I received this email requesting help, and the topic is one I am sure is out there everywhere…so I am addressing it now. The email, in part, read:

Venus,

….thank you for replying, i’m having real problems meeting the girl of my dreams … but i’m not in her league & i need help!!! what do you do when a man approaches a woman & she brushes him off, i’m one of those who can’t do rejection very well…

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biggest blocker of you hooking up with women

Beginning problems. What will hamper your success with women? Not dealing with them to start with.

The ability to handle inevitable problems that will arise from making progress with the dating scene. No matter how much game you have, problems will happen! They are part of life, and part of the game! In fact, problems only hone your skills to make you a better player!

I know that you do not believe that right now, but I swear to you it is true. You’re sitting there, reading this, shoulders slumped, and you are saying to yourself, “yeah but most of the time, there isn’t a problem, it’s just that I’m not her type, and I can not handle rejection well…”

Are you listening to yourself? The problem is that you actually are! Let me rephrase the question for more understanding. Are you hearing the kind of things you are saying to yourself that are not helping you move forward to success at hooking up with women? That, love, is a problem! One that you have created, for yourself, and one that you are going to have to work with me here to rid yourself of it.

So let’s start right away, like right now! Let’s look at ways to handle problems that are going to come up as you move forward toward your success at hooking up with women. You want to do this, right? I am not just wasting my time here, am I? Good, let’s begin.

The solution is really simplistic. But you must memorize this single solitary thing…(this is really important, memorize it)…

Learn To Spend 80% Of Your Time On The Solution, And Only 20% Of It On The Problem! Really, that is it, Learn To Spend 80% Of Your Time On The Solution, And Only 20% Of It On The Problem! And since this is the most important aspect of this writing, I will have you read it one more time, Learn To Spend 80% Of Your Time On The Solution, And Only 20% Of It On The Problem!

You see, what most of you do is turn these little “bumps in the road” if you will, into these ginormous (that’s a made up word by combining gigantic with enormous, like it?) problems by focusing most of your time on the problem itself! You go over it again, and again, and again what the problem is in your mind or your thoughts (by the way, I will say this from time to time, but what you think you are, you are!) making what is known in psychology as an “anchor”. It associates whatever action with the problem, then it holds you down in one place.

Like, your anchor could be, “I can’t get with her, because I would have to talk to her, and I’m not her type, and she’ll say no, then I’ll get upset and just drink myself into a pissed off state….” You are screwing yourself from the very beginning! You have probably done this many, many, many times before (spending much more time on the problem than the solution). Now, every time you see a girl you want to hook up with, you immediately start to feel ill, almost painful. Because you have associated “talking to a girl” to “can’t have her, not her type, and rejection”!

You do not have to put yourself through this, but you have to eliminate this anchor first. You need to identify the challenge, “talking to women”, and what do you have to do to eliminate the challenge (this should be your focus/anchor, not the challenge). Start by eliminating those self-doubting, negative questions like, “Why does this keep happening to me? How come I always freeze up?”.

Remember what you think you are, you are. So you work yourself up because now you are just enabling the anchor of “IF I talk to women, THEN I will have pain IN THE FORM OF self doubt, self pity, and rejection”!

Here is the steps to eliminating a problem (anchor, self doubt, nerves, etc.):

* Stop thinking about everything, and focus your mind on only the solution of this.
* Know that you have the ability within yourself to come up with the answer to this.
* Understanding the previous problem/issue, and understanding the different desired outcome.
* Wait for an answer or approach comes to you by focusing on the solution.
* Try the solution you came up with.
* Adjusting the solution by keeping parts that seemed to work, and eliminating those that did not.
* Repeat the whole process.

You should probably re-read the above a few times, as many as you want, to really, really, soak in. Go ahead, I am not going anywhere, I’ll still be here when you are done with reading the above for comprehension…

Done? Sure? I can wait…re-read them again!

Alright! See to summarize, you need to focus on a solution, understand you have it within yourself to come up with the solution, know the change you desire, get the solution, try it out, look at the results, re do the process again and again until the solution is so finely honed you are completely successful. It really is the answer for almost any issue, but especially on how to get your game on!

You have to start, though. You can not just read this, and say, “yeah, that’ll work!” then not do anything because if you talk to the girl you will get rejected.

Start now. Think about how to overcome your problem with talking with women.

If it because of nervousness, go to a shopping center, walk around and make eye contact and smile with EVERY woman there. After you feel comfortable with that, do it again, but this time add a “hello”, “hi”, “wassup”, “how you doing?”, whatever. After you are feeling comfortable, with that, you should be ready to take it to the next level and actually stop and talk to a woman. You can even practice by going up to a female employee and just starting with a “hi” and feign interest in a product if you have to. Ask her questions about it.

You are going to have to get over this fear of talking to women, and the above is really the best “step” method I know that is easy. And stop thinking about rejection! What the hell? She works there! What is she going to do, say to you, a customer,”uh, sorry, I am not interested in really talking to you..” Nope, she can’t do it, you a customer in her store. See? No rejection!

You should be asking yourself, “How can I turn this around? What is the quickest solution? How can I do it and make it fun?!!?!!”

Remember, your brain has the capability of answering any question or proposing any solution, as long as you are asking yourself the right questions (the solution), not killing yourself with the negative wrong questions (the problem).

Go do the above exercise. Have fun with it! You are not asking these women on a date…you are simply making eye contact, smiling, saying hi, or maybe even forcing a girl employee into a conversation with you, because she can not just ignore you!

Getting past this stage is going to be probably the biggest hurdle you have to jump in the process of hooking up with women. You get past this, babe, and the rest is going to be like sledding down a snowy hill…more fun, faster, and continually gaining momentum until you reach your level ground!

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The above post can be freely used as long as this author box is with it.

Did you know that as much as half of the “super models” in the world are single? It’s true! But do you know why? Because most men are afraid to approach them. Don’t be most men, be the man…http://gotvenus.com

I’m just a girl, NOT! I am a GODDESS! And yes, Venus is my real name. I live in one of the richest cities in the world, but play in one of the worst cities in the world. I’ll teach you things…come play with me! If you want to try and understand me, and think you can handle it, you can visit me at: http://bagvenus.net

Alright Guys,

I got myself in trouble. I was having a “debate” with a friend about my methods, and other methods, and other hooking up ideas.

Long story short, I opened my mouth and stated I could create a program that could help much more than half the products out there I’m seeing. Some of the articles I read about dating and hooking up I wonder if the author even realized that’s the subject? Just because something worked one time for a man, does not make it the norm for all men, yet that is what I see a lot!

Well, I felt the sting of the words as they were spoken towards me…”prove it!”

So, I am not sure what I got myself into, but I could really, really, use your help. It is not going to be anything hard.

I would like you to send me the top 5 questions you have and want answered about hooking up, dating, or women in general.

Will you do that for me? I can give you a reason to…your questions might be part of the subject matter of my project that I have dared myself into. Plus, I might even give you some drafts while it is being created, giving YOU the first look at it and to use its methods first.

It may sound cliche’ but, help me to help you. Give me the subjects you want the most help with…please?

Okay, email your questions, suggestions to :
askvenus@myway.com

And let me thank you in advance, THANK YOU!

~Venus

P.S. By the way, did you know I have another blog? It has been up and running a while now. Go check it out! It is at http://gotvenus.blogspot.com