Okay, so I was out at this club down river last weekend, when this guy mustered his nerve and walked up to talk to me. He seemed genuine, kind, and pretty well clean. When I closed my eyes his voice was nice, and his eyes were deep crystal blue. He would have definitely at least got a dance out of me, maybe even more conversation then who know where from there.

But, he got. . . nothing! Well, I was kind in my denial, I know how fragile you guys can be.

I just could not get past his eighties influenced, “flock of seagulls” styled, weird side length emo type hair cut he had!

And you can argue all day that I am flawed, that I can’t judge a book by its cover, and I did not take the time to learn about the real man beneath. But you know what? You are right! I am not Avril Lavigne, and we are not living in the world of the “Sk8ter Boi” (skater boy).

Want to know something else? About 90% of the women out there will absolutely agree with me! Skater boy is correct, because unfortunately, we as women only see two types of guys out there in the world, little un-confident boys and confident grown men.

That particular style screamed out to me, “I am a little un-confident boy who doesn’t think much of himself so I am trying to hide behind the persona of what I thought was a cool hair cut”. And thus, I had to let the little boy go ahead on his search for a little girl, because I am all woman, and a little boy can not handle me properly.

You are probably thinking two things right about now. You are probably thinking, “what a selfish chick with an attitude”. And you are probably thinking, “is a certain hair style really a deal breaker?”. To which I answer, no I am not, I just know what I want, and a little boy is not one of them. And absolutely, a hair style can make or break you.

His particular cut would have worked, if he was in a punk rock bar or perhaps a Goth bar or even an EMO bar. The problem is he wasn’t. And the girls (no miss-spelling there) in those three styles of bars are probably not what you are looking for, unless you want an anarchist, a dark girl more into a fictional character that drinks blood than she is you, or a way-too-emotional girl who is going to talk to you all night long about how she in not understood by anybody.

Of course, I am assuming here that as men, you want women, not little girls, too. I mean, don’t get me wrong, little girls and boys have their times (by the way, by little I mean personality, not age!).

Back to the issue at hand, hair. Let’s talk about some pet peaves women, in general, have with hair.

Maybe it is stress, maybe the times we live in, or maybe it is in the water. Whatever it is, there seems to be a lot of guys in their twenties and older losing their hair. It appears men are losing it much earlier in ages now. If not balding, definitely in thinning.

The worst possible thing you could do about it is try to grow some long hair to “comb over” to hide it. Really, I mean that with all the sincerity I can muster in text! Stop it! You remind us of some older creepy uncle when you do that!

Much better to just cut it short and act like you don’t care, showing confidence about it then the comb over. In fact, if it is that much of an issue to you, maybe you should even try the other extreme and shave it bald completely.

Here is a secret, shhhh, don’t tell everybody! We find men who shave their heads clean when they don’t seem the age to have to s-e-x-y! Why? Because it states to us that you are completely comfortable and confident with yourself and you don’t care what others think!

That makes you sexy! MMMmmmm. Of course you can blow it if you shave everything off and then still come across as self conscious about it, that is so NOT sexy!

Watch the boys of summer. Or even the actors of Hollywood. They are always on the cutting edge of hair styles. Most of the time, though, a clean cut boy projects an aire of confidence and suave sophistication.

Speaking of clean cut, what is up with all the goatees? Is there a bunch of sports figures out there that you guys are following or what? The goatees, along with the mullets, have to go! Maybe if you knew how to use a soul patch, great, but most of you don’t! So shave the stuff off, please!

Okay, there you go. The truth about how most of us women feel about your hair. Unless you are trying to show how you are so unique as a tortured artist or musician (and most of you who read me know my puzzlement to the “the band” attraction), you need to be clean cut, shaved, and have the “James Bond” confidence about you.

What about moustaches? You are not going to believe what we think about them! Check out http://gotvenus.com, and you will eventually read what both myself and Tiffany thinks (as well as most other women) about moustaches.

First of all, let me say that I am in no way trying to embarrass anyone here. I received this email requesting help, and the topic is one I am sure is out there everywhere…so I am addressing it now. The email, in part, read:

Venus,

….thank you for replying, i’m having real problems meeting the girl of my dreams … but i’m not in her league & i need help!!! what do you do when a man approaches a woman & she brushes him off, i’m one of those who can’t do rejection very well…

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biggest blocker of you hooking up with women

Beginning problems. What will hamper your success with women? Not dealing with them to start with.

The ability to handle inevitable problems that will arise from making progress with the dating scene. No matter how much game you have, problems will happen! They are part of life, and part of the game! In fact, problems only hone your skills to make you a better player!

I know that you do not believe that right now, but I swear to you it is true. You’re sitting there, reading this, shoulders slumped, and you are saying to yourself, “yeah but most of the time, there isn’t a problem, it’s just that I’m not her type, and I can not handle rejection well…”

Are you listening to yourself? The problem is that you actually are! Let me rephrase the question for more understanding. Are you hearing the kind of things you are saying to yourself that are not helping you move forward to success at hooking up with women? That, love, is a problem! One that you have created, for yourself, and one that you are going to have to work with me here to rid yourself of it.

So let’s start right away, like right now! Let’s look at ways to handle problems that are going to come up as you move forward toward your success at hooking up with women. You want to do this, right? I am not just wasting my time here, am I? Good, let’s begin.

The solution is really simplistic. But you must memorize this single solitary thing…(this is really important, memorize it)…

Learn To Spend 80% Of Your Time On The Solution, And Only 20% Of It On The Problem! Really, that is it, Learn To Spend 80% Of Your Time On The Solution, And Only 20% Of It On The Problem! And since this is the most important aspect of this writing, I will have you read it one more time, Learn To Spend 80% Of Your Time On The Solution, And Only 20% Of It On The Problem!

You see, what most of you do is turn these little “bumps in the road” if you will, into these ginormous (that’s a made up word by combining gigantic with enormous, like it?) problems by focusing most of your time on the problem itself! You go over it again, and again, and again what the problem is in your mind or your thoughts (by the way, I will say this from time to time, but what you think you are, you are!) making what is known in psychology as an “anchor”. It associates whatever action with the problem, then it holds you down in one place.

Like, your anchor could be, “I can’t get with her, because I would have to talk to her, and I’m not her type, and she’ll say no, then I’ll get upset and just drink myself into a pissed off state….” You are screwing yourself from the very beginning! You have probably done this many, many, many times before (spending much more time on the problem than the solution). Now, every time you see a girl you want to hook up with, you immediately start to feel ill, almost painful. Because you have associated “talking to a girl” to “can’t have her, not her type, and rejection”!

You do not have to put yourself through this, but you have to eliminate this anchor first. You need to identify the challenge, “talking to women”, and what do you have to do to eliminate the challenge (this should be your focus/anchor, not the challenge). Start by eliminating those self-doubting, negative questions like, “Why does this keep happening to me? How come I always freeze up?”.

Remember what you think you are, you are. So you work yourself up because now you are just enabling the anchor of “IF I talk to women, THEN I will have pain IN THE FORM OF self doubt, self pity, and rejection”!

Here is the steps to eliminating a problem (anchor, self doubt, nerves, etc.):

* Stop thinking about everything, and focus your mind on only the solution of this.
* Know that you have the ability within yourself to come up with the answer to this.
* Understanding the previous problem/issue, and understanding the different desired outcome.
* Wait for an answer or approach comes to you by focusing on the solution.
* Try the solution you came up with.
* Adjusting the solution by keeping parts that seemed to work, and eliminating those that did not.
* Repeat the whole process.

You should probably re-read the above a few times, as many as you want, to really, really, soak in. Go ahead, I am not going anywhere, I’ll still be here when you are done with reading the above for comprehension…

Done? Sure? I can wait…re-read them again!

Alright! See to summarize, you need to focus on a solution, understand you have it within yourself to come up with the solution, know the change you desire, get the solution, try it out, look at the results, re do the process again and again until the solution is so finely honed you are completely successful. It really is the answer for almost any issue, but especially on how to get your game on!

You have to start, though. You can not just read this, and say, “yeah, that’ll work!” then not do anything because if you talk to the girl you will get rejected.

Start now. Think about how to overcome your problem with talking with women.

If it because of nervousness, go to a shopping center, walk around and make eye contact and smile with EVERY woman there. After you feel comfortable with that, do it again, but this time add a “hello”, “hi”, “wassup”, “how you doing?”, whatever. After you are feeling comfortable, with that, you should be ready to take it to the next level and actually stop and talk to a woman. You can even practice by going up to a female employee and just starting with a “hi” and feign interest in a product if you have to. Ask her questions about it.

You are going to have to get over this fear of talking to women, and the above is really the best “step” method I know that is easy. And stop thinking about rejection! What the hell? She works there! What is she going to do, say to you, a customer,”uh, sorry, I am not interested in really talking to you..” Nope, she can’t do it, you a customer in her store. See? No rejection!

You should be asking yourself, “How can I turn this around? What is the quickest solution? How can I do it and make it fun?!!?!!”

Remember, your brain has the capability of answering any question or proposing any solution, as long as you are asking yourself the right questions (the solution), not killing yourself with the negative wrong questions (the problem).

Go do the above exercise. Have fun with it! You are not asking these women on a date…you are simply making eye contact, smiling, saying hi, or maybe even forcing a girl employee into a conversation with you, because she can not just ignore you!

Getting past this stage is going to be probably the biggest hurdle you have to jump in the process of hooking up with women. You get past this, babe, and the rest is going to be like sledding down a snowy hill…more fun, faster, and continually gaining momentum until you reach your level ground!

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The above post can be freely used as long as this author box is with it.

Did you know that as much as half of the “super models” in the world are single? It’s true! But do you know why? Because most men are afraid to approach them. Don’t be most men, be the man…http://gotvenus.com

I’m just a girl, NOT! I am a GODDESS! And yes, Venus is my real name. I live in one of the richest cities in the world, but play in one of the worst cities in the world. I’ll teach you things…come play with me! If you want to try and understand me, and think you can handle it, you can visit me at: http://bagvenus.net